Sharing space with toddlers, teenagers, and Grandma might seem challenging on a daily basis but an all-age party can be a blast!

Young singers at the Fete de la Musique in Paris

It’s summertime. The weather is great, your yard never looked better, and you’re planning a party. You’ve invited your in-laws, your friends, their children, and some older neighbors. It sounds like fun but in the back of your mind, you think, “Can they all get along?”

A party where several generations are gathered is not that different from a family: everyone needs respect and a little space. A thoughtful host will come up with a strategy to see that everyone does indeed get along and even better, have fun.

It’s the oldest and youngest guests that the host needs to concentrate on because they usually have the same complaint: feeling left out. The stumbling blocks usually occur over noise and food. Your older guests will want to converse without straining to hear over the exuberant screams of the younger set. Children don’t want to wait to eat and get nervous if the food is unusual.

Creating zones

A few years ago on a Sunday afternoon, I stopped at a small café in an Italian village. It appeared that the whole town had turned out in just a few tiny rooms. Everyone was together but on closer inspection, I noticed the generations had formed groups. The older men were playing cards in the back room. The teenagers were clustered around the pinball machine. The children ran in and out but were mainly playing in the little square out front. The younger adults were at the bar and the older women sat together gossiping at small tables.

This Italian ‘zone’ model is good to keep in mind when you plan your own party.

Older guests appreciate a place to sit. As a host, you don’t have to supply seating for your whole party, especially for an outdoor event. But placing a few chairs in a comfortable spot, not in full sun, is a real courtesy. The seniors don’t want isolation. They enjoy being able to observe the fun and games from a little distance and still hold a conversation.

Kids need some space as well. Children are active (unlike teenagers who just hang out) so give them room for play. At a great party I attended, the wading pool and backyard slide kept the kids occupied for hours and was fun to watch as well.

One parent I know always has food and a project for younger children from the moment they arrive. She offers an array of tasty finger foods, paper cups, water, and lemonade for self-service. On a small table, she sets out a simple art project with paint, clay, or play dough. Occupied and munching, the kids are far less likely to get frustrated and noisy.

Teens don’t want space so much as privacy. Do include them at your all-age party but don’t expect them to join them. If they’re at least in the same vicinity, you can call it a social victory. If you need some help moving tables, hauling out the ice chest, or finding a chair for Uncle Charlie, ask the teenagers. But don’t expect them to be great conversationalists. They will add to your party if given a little room to themselves.

What if you’re the host with no outdoor space? Plan a party in a public space. An early evening picnic in a park with a playground is a treat for young and old. Picnic tables at Portland, Oregon parks are first come, first served but you can reserve tables in advance for a reasonable fee. And why restrict yourself? A ball game, tennis tournament, or a swimming party is a cinch at your local park.

Getting Along

If you are bringing children to a party with multi-generations, a little pep talk in advance about party manners is a good idea. Older guests appreciate introductions, a handshake, and a “How do you do?” Children can expect a few questions (such as, “What grade are you in?” or “Where did you get those beautiful curls?”) A polite answer and a “Nice to meet you!” before dashing away will establish instant goodwill between the generations.

Children relish being useful and needed. As the host, round up some young helpers to hand out drinks and clear plates. The adults will love the service (even with a few spills) and will be sure to let the kids know that they care.

Choosing the Menu

At a casual outdoor party, guests will be delighted with a buffet of salads, grilled meat and fish, fruits and ice cream. But what about the children? Must you have a separate meal for picky eaters? The trick is finding something for everyone.

Offering a variety helps bridge the gap between the generations. You will delight the adults with melon and prosciutto, figs with Gorgonzola or grilled salmon. Your fruit salad, sliced turkey, tomatoes, and bread will fill up any child. The whole crowd will go for ice cream bars and cookies.

As a guest, if your children have strong food preferences, feed them in advance. No one will insist that a child eat at a party. You will have a much better time if your child is not hungry or worried about what’s being served. The children are free to play and you can enjoy your dinner.

Bringing us all together

We remember a good party for many reasons. It might be the food, the conversation, the beautiful surroundings, or even the weather. A party with a mix of young and old has a special, even nostalgic, quality. We experience enjoyment in different ways, from the high-spirited child to the relaxed adult. For the young and not-so-young, these are precious and memorable occasions.

Recipes and suggestions

For an outdoor party, you can’t go wrong with platters of fresh vegetables with a dip, charcuterie and cheeses. Sliced watermelon and fresh cherries with cookies make a swell dessert. Barbecuing is also really appreciated – and some things are fine made in advance – such as smoky ribs.

Here are few party recipes…

Curried Chicken in Phyllo Nests

An elegant hors d’oeuvre – good for a party. (But have a bowl of popcorn for the kids!)

1 ½  cups cooked chicken, minced

2 tablespoons softened butter

¼ cup mayonnaise

1 tablespoon minced shallot

1 teaspoon curry powder (or to taste)

Salt and pepper

Garnish: diced mango, toasted almonds, fresh mint

24 Phyllo shells* 

Mix the chicken with softened butter, mayonnaise, shallot, and seasonings.

Fill phyllo nests (also called shells or cups) at the last minute. Garnish with diced mango, toasted almonds, and mint.

*Phyllo shells are sold frozen and are very easy to use. However, as an economical alternative (especially if you are making a large quantity), you can make the shells yourself. To do so, buy phyllo dough, and make a stack of 5 sheets, brushing each sheet with melted butter. Cut into 12 squares and press each square into greased mini-muffin pans. Bake at 375° for 10 minutes. Watch that they don’t burn.

Smoked Salmon Rillettes

Very festive! In hot weather, put this dish into a larger dish of ice to keep it chilled.

12 oz. (350 g) smoked salmon

1 small jar salmon roe

2 tablespoons (28 g or 1 oz) unsalted butter, softened

3 tablespoons minced chives

4 tablespoons crème fraîche

Chop finely the smoked salmon and incorporate the butter within. Add the roe, crème fraîche, and chives and gently mix. Refrigerate and serve as a first course with salad or on bread or crackers as an hors d’oeuvre.

Black Bean and Corn Salad

For 4

1 can of black beans

2 or 3 ears corn or 1 cup frozen corn

2 or 3 tablespoons thinly sliced red onion (optional)

¼ cup orange juice

1 teaspoon cumin

1 clove garlic, minced

2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar (or any vinegar except balsamic)

¼ cup oil (I use olive)

Salt, pepper

2- 4 Tablespoons cilantro, chopped

If you are using fresh corn, shuck it and cut off the kernels with a sharp paring knife into a bowl. Add a few spoonfuls of water, sprinkle with salt and microwave the corn for 1 minute covered. Let cool. For frozen, simply unthaw by running a bit of water over it.

Prepare the vinaigrette by combining the juice, vinegar, and seasonings. Add the oil in a steady stream and correct seasoning with salt and pepper.

Combine the beans, corn, red onion (if you are using it), vinaigrette, and cilantro.  

White Chocolate Brownies

My friend pastry chef Valerie Hillcame up with these marvelous cookies. A favorite with everyone!

Makes 2 sheet pans

14 oz butter

32 oz white choc, chopped fine

Melt butter, add chocolate.  Off heat. Don’t stir.

8 eggs

salt

2 C sugar

 2 T vanilla

4 C flour

4 C chocolate chunks

(or – 1/1/2 C chocolate chunks and 1 1/2 C hazelnuts (optional))

Beat eggs and salt, add sugar, beat until thick.  Add everything else.  Quick fold in chips.

Divide between the 2 sheet pans, use parchment.  Bake at 350 – check after 10 minutes.  

Let cool and cut into squares, then cut each square into 2 triangles.

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